Exodus 33:18

John Newton, converted slave trader, passionately longed for the transforming vision, but the answer to his urgent prayers came in a way which staggered and almost overwhelmed him. He has recorded this experience:

"I asked the Lord that I might grow in Faith and Love and every grace,

Might more of His salvation know and seek more earnestly His face.

'Twas He who taught me thus to pray and He, I trust, has answered prayer;

But it has been in such a way as almost drove me to despair.

I thought that in some favored hour at once He'd answer my request

And by His love's constraining power, subdue my sins and give me rest.

Instead of that, he made me feel the hidden evils of my heart,

And bade the angry powers of hell assault my soul in every part.

Nay more, with His own hand He seemed intent to aggravate my woe.

Crossed all the fair designs I schemed, blasted my gourds, and laid me low.

"Lord, why is this?" I trembling cried. "Wilt Thou pursue this worm to death?"

"This is the way," the Lord replied, "I answer prayer for grace and faith.

"These inward trials I employ from self and sin to set thee free,

And cross thy schemes of earthly joy that thou might'st find thy all in Me."